View Full Version : Mature and enjoyable sex life!
agapea
06-23-2006, 04:41 AM
Link: Mature sex life! (http://koti.phnet.fi/elohim/help_to_marriage4)
Behind the link is good tips to enjoyable sex life!
You are in the wrong forum, friend, the religion forum is one up from here. I actually, against my better judgement, followed the link, and was disgusted with what I saw. Here are the first two paragraphs from the site:
If we are talking about women and sexuality, so one matter, of which especially they are guilty, is using the sex as a weapon (yes, I'm sure some do occasionally, how funny of a religious oriented website to mention this). For if the husband has not filled wife’s conditions– he has forgotten some things, has not washed properly or has not filled his part in the relationship - so the wife can avenge on her husband these neglects by her coldness, in other words by refusing the sex. She may turn her back on her husband’s sexual needs and refuse to fill them. (And here I thought sex was a dirty-dirty thing in christianity)
If you as the woman have behaved in the preceding way, it is however good to notice, that you do wrong and you are disobedient to God. So, if the man refuses to wash and the woman refuses to give his nasty, stinking ass some sex, she is disobedient in the eyes of god....interesting For the clear teaching of the Bible is, that each of the spouses is obligated to fulfil another one’s sexual needs such as 1 Cor 7:3- 5 indicates (you never met my ex-wife, did you? Obviously not.). Actually you as the wife, when you have married, will lose your power to control your own body, and that's why you must also in practise give it completely to your husband (So essentially, I own and control my wife's body? Wrong, she is her own person and no religious rhetoric can tell me otherwise). This same is true also in the husband’s life:
- (1 Cor 7:3- 5) The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
4. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Wrong, wrong, wrong...I do not own any part of my wife
5. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. OK, I seriously don't get this one......when I went to church (well, ok, it happened once or twice), our preacher told us that abstinence is a virtue and satan would take you for having sex....what kind of bullshit is this?
Damn, this site is seriously warped...I couldn't read any more.....
FIREPHD/PA
06-23-2006, 08:20 AM
You are in the wrong forum, friend, the religion forum is one up from here. I actually, against my better judgement, followed the link, and was disgusted with what I saw. Here are the first two paragraphs from the site:
If we are talking about women and sexuality, so one matter, of which especially they are guilty, is using the sex as a weapon (yes, I'm sure some do occasionally, how funny of a religious oriented website to mention this). For if the husband has not filled wife’s conditions– he has forgotten some things, has not washed properly or has not filled his part in the relationship - so the wife can avenge on her husband these neglects by her coldness, in other words by refusing the sex. She may turn her back on her husband’s sexual needs and refuse to fill them. (And here I thought sex was a dirty-dirty thing in christianity)
If you as the woman have behaved in the preceding way, it is however good to notice, that you do wrong and you are disobedient to God. So, if the man refuses to wash and the woman refuses to give his nasty, stinking ass some sex, she is disobedient in the eyes of god....interesting For the clear teaching of the Bible is, that each of the spouses is obligated to fulfil another one’s sexual needs such as 1 Cor 7:3- 5 indicates (you never met my ex-wife, did you? Obviously not.). Actually you as the wife, when you have married, will lose your power to control your own body, and that's why you must also in practise give it completely to your husband (So essentially, I own and control my wife's body? Wrong, she is her own person and no religious rhetoric can tell me otherwise). This same is true also in the husband’s life:
- (1 Cor 7:3- 5) The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
4. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Wrong, wrong, wrong...I do not own any part of my wife
5. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. OK, I seriously don't get this one......when I went to church (well, ok, it happened once or twice), our preacher told us that abstinence is a virtue and satan would take you for having sex....what kind of bullshit is this?
Damn, this site is seriously warped...I couldn't read any more.....
WTF???
I think my eyes are bleeding....:eek:
WTF???
I think my eyes are bleeding....:eek:
At least it's not your palms and your feet....
FIREPHD/PA
06-23-2006, 08:25 AM
At least it's not your palms and your feet....
True...very true... if they were.... I couldn't walk on water anymore... or go free-climbing..:eek:
FIREPHD/PA
06-23-2006, 08:27 AM
hey....all... Don't know how many of you are devout christians.... but here goes!!
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Jesus walks into an inn and throws 3 spikes on the counter....
The Innkeeper says" What am I supposed to do with those??"
Jesus says" I need put up for the Night!!"
uh...oh.... that's BAD, huh??? hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!
You're going to hell. Seriously. Good thing you're a fireman. :D
FIREPHD/PA
06-23-2006, 08:43 AM
You're going to hell. Seriously. Good thing you're a fireman. :D
I have known that for years... I guess I will see y'all down there....hehe
How bout this one....
Jesus and Moses are sitting on the beach reminiscing....
Jesus says to Moses " Sooo you still have it??"
Moses stands up and says"Let's see" Soo he parts his arms and the ocean parts....He sits down all full of himself....and says" Looks like I got it! How bout you Jesus"
Jesus stands up and takes his sandals off.. starts to walk out into the ocean...Gets about 2 feet out and sinks....As he wades back he hangs his head in disgust...visibly upset ...
Jesus says" Well guess I don't have it anymore...??"
And Moses Replies with a smile on his face " Jesus you have to remember thats before you had holes in your feet"!!!
hehehehehehe..... Now I know Im goin to hell!!:D
LOL...oh, shit, maybe I'm going to hell for laughing......I TAKE IT BACK!!!
FIREPHD/PA
06-23-2006, 08:50 AM
Like I said see ya down there... Just wanted to lighten the mood in this thread.. I went to Catholic school for 11 years... It was way too much.. Hell, I think I was one year away from being ordained a priest... But I couldn't do that .. I enjoy women too much.. Couldn't see myself chasing lil' boys around the vestibule....hehe there goes another strike against me..
FIREPHD/PA
06-23-2006, 08:53 AM
Last but not least..... I got this one earlier in the week..
My kind of priest...
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous on the
pulpit , I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get
nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on
the door: 1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and
the spook.
8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he
was stoned off his ass.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat
it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" .
12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the
grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.Peter's not a
peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's
FIREPHD/PA
06-23-2006, 01:31 PM
well I am definitely going... I am driving the fire engine to hell... I think my just will be trying to extinguish the eternal fires.... Kinda like the one you have burning...hehe