Dumb Pick up lines - let's hear them

[Mom]

Mind if I talk to you until it's safe down there where I farted?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Would you like Gin and Platonic, or Scotch and Sofa?

When God said, "Let there be woman," he created you.

Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are HOT!

I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see around here.

You sure have a great looking tooth.

Are you religious? You're the answer to my prayers.

Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I’m asking for only one.

My friend wants to know if you were born in those jeans.

Your place or your place? Because my place is a dump!

You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy.

Falling for you would be a very short trip.

Don’t stop! I don’t usually get to see beauty in motion.

Do you know why the sky is so gray? All the blue is in your eyes.

You’re so fine, you make me want to go out and get a job.

Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.

Those must be space pants, 'cause your butt is out of this world!

I think I’ve just found the angel I’d like to be touched by.

Can I lick that film off your teeth?

Don't be so picky....I wasn't!

Let's go behind that rock, and get a little boulder.

You look a lot like my future wife.

I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking you out.

Did they just take you out of the oven? Because you’re hot!

Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Without my glasses, you couldn't pass for a female.

You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala.

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

Want to play conductor? You be the engineer and I'll go choo choo.

What do you like for breakfast?

Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

I want to call your mother and thank her.

Your daddy must be a thief, because he stole the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes.

That outfit would look great crumpled up on the floor at the foot of my bed.

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

My name is [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.

Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

(Look at his / her shirt label) When they say, "What are you doing?", you say, "Checking to see if you were made in heaven."

There must be something wrong with my eyes, because I can't take them off you.

All those curves, and me with no brakes.

If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Do you know how to use a whip?

Can you give me directions...to your heart?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

I hope you know CPR, 'cause you take my breath away.

You look just like Joan Rivers.

Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I'll still make your bed rock.

[topdog11]

Welllllll , Mom, theres a couple in there that would most likely get a guy a Good Swift Kick in the Nuts!

LOL

[galador]

damn... she stole all mine.... you mean to tell me those dont work???? no wonder I have such a hard time meeting women!!!!!!

[TheGrizz]

You...me....handcuffs and whipped cream.....interested???

[AlterBabe]

Didn't see this on there...but I could've missed it.... Had a spring breaker ask me this a couple of years ago....sooo corny..but DAMN it was good! :D

You got a Keg in your back pocket babe? Cause I wanna Tap that ASS!

Damn he was cute too! Almost let him ;)

[TheGrizz]

damn... she stole all mine.... you mean to tell me those dont work???? no wonder I have such a hard time meeting women!!!!!!


here is one that is gauranteed to work for you Galador...

You know, inheriting $80 million doesn't mean a whole lot with this bad heart and all...

[Groucho]

I wanna screw you because I am unhappy with my marraige.

[galador]

that is wrong on so many levels... besides, I have a sure fire way to get women... after all, it worked with Alter....


Excuse me, would you like to see some pictures of my little boys????

Works everytime!!!! lol

that or take the kids to the park..... lol the women love seeing a man with a baby!!!!!

[Mom]

that is wrong on so many levels... besides, I have a sure fire way to get women... after all, it worked with Alter....


Excuse me, would you like to see some pictures of my little boys????

Works everytime!!!! lol

that or take the kids to the park..... lol the women love seeing a man with a baby!!!!!
very, very true

[alwayshard]

very, very true
does a picture of my daughter work...it has in the past

[Mom]

does a picture of my daughter work...it has in the past
probably - and puppies work also

[alwayshard]

probably - and puppies work also
i have a dog but shes not a puppy anymore thou ...all black shepard,no color other then her eyes

[Joe Neckbone]

Don't have any pick up lines. Just slip date rape drugs in their cocktails. :rolleyes:

[Mom]

Don't have any pick up lines. Just slip date rape drugs in their cocktails. :rolleyes:
:eek: :eek: :eek: that's sick

[Joe Neckbone]

i have a dog but shes not a puppy anymore thou ...all black shepard,no color other then her eyes

My very cute 12 lb male black maltese-minipoodle puppy is an unbelievable chick magnet anyplace I take him with me. Even Home Depot....Wal-Mart... ;)

[Joe Neckbone]

:eek: :eek: :eek: that's sick

That was a joke! ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Mom]

Don't have any pick up lines. Just slip date rape drugs in their cocktails. :rolleyes:
still sick to be even posting it as a joke

[quivers]

I can't get you pregnant, I was struck by lightening as a child.

[topdog11]

I won't Cum in your Mouth........ I promise! ;)

[alwayshard]

Don't have any pick up lines. Just slip date rape drugs in their cocktails. :rolleyes:
thats not funny at all

[Barnesto]

When I was in the Marines, I knew a guy who used this one (unsuccessfully) all the time...."You wanna go back to my place, eat icecream, and fuck? What's the matter, you don't like icecream?"

Did I say that one didn't work? ;)

[alwayshard]

When I was in the Marines, I knew a guy who used this one (unsuccessfully) all the time...."You wanna go back to my place, eat icecream, and fuck? What's the matter, you don't like icecream?"

Did I say that one didn't work? ;)
i see why too

[Mom]

I won't Cum in your Mouth........ I promise! ;)
and

The Check's in the mail
I will just put it in a little

[Mom]

When I was in the Marines, I knew a guy who used this one (unsuccessfully) all the time...."You wanna go back to my place, eat icecream, and fuck? What's the matter, you don't like icecream?"

Did I say that one didn't work? ;)
didn't know you were a Marine - once a Marine, always a Marine - #3 son spent 4 years in Marines - been out 2 years - THANK YOU GOD

[Barnesto]

I was in for 5....been out for almost as long....

[cheekylips]

i see why too
Had a bet with my friends as to who would get off the quickest in a nightclub. Met this girl as soon as i walked in she dropped ice cubes down my neck and I was a bit annoyed. 2 minutes later I walked up to her and poured cubes down her neck she was annoyed I offered to get them out. Within 5 mins we were on our home in a taxi and had sex. Chat up lines? Good times.

[Mom]

Santa's Pickup Lines


10. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
9. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?
8. I`ve got something special in the sack for you!
7. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?
6. I know when you`ve been bad or good--so let`s skip the small talk, sister!
5. Some of my best toys run on batteries... <wink wink>
4. Interested in seeing the "North Pole"? (Well, that`s what the Mrs. calls it.
3. I see you when you`re sleeping--and you don`t wear any underwear, do you?
2. Screw the "nice" list--I`ve got you on my "naughty" list!
1. Wanna join the "Mile High" club?

[billyjoe_bobo]

nasty line - pardon me miss but do you fuck or do i owe you a apology , if she smiles your on , if not just say , well i guess a blow job is out of the question then

[alwayshard]

nasty line - pardon me miss but do you fuck or do i owe you a apology , if she smiles your on , if not just say , well i guess a blow job is out of the question then
who would you say that too ...a hooker

[quivers]

Hey baby, is that heat your packin? Or you just glad to see me!

Female to male,
Men may use them more, But we can be just as bold as they are.

[alwayshard]

Hey baby, is that heat your packin? Or you just glad to see me!

Female to male,
Men may use them more, But we can be just as bold as they are.
i'm packing sumthing and its for someone

[muffdiver13]

When I was in the Marines, I knew a guy who used this one (unsuccessfully) all the time...."You wanna go back to my place, eat icecream, and fuck? What's the matter, you don't like icecream?"

Did I say that one didn't work? ;)
Dunno, had a roomate in the Army who used to use "Do you fuck or do I owe you and apology?" Worked about half the time.

[quivers]

i'm packing sumthing and its for someone

Gonna hang a bow on it and place it near the christmas bush?

[alwayshard]

Gonna hang a bow on it and place it near the christmas bush?
but i thought you keep it clean...no bush....but it needs sum place warm

[quivers]

but i thought you keep it clean...no bush....but it needs sum place warm

hehehhe you assume I am speaking of me.. I love my hardwood floors:)

[alwayshard]

hehehhe you assume I am speaking of me.. I love my hardwood floors:)
yea i am but i know what happens when you assume but i have a piece of hard wood for you

[quivers]

Is it in need of a good old fashioned polishing,, to a shiny bright luster?

[alwayshard]

Is it in need of a good old fashioned polishing,, to a shiny bright luster?
yea !!!! but i want spit polishing please

[Joe Neckbone]

still sick to be even posting it as a joke

I disagree...

[quivers]

I disagree...:eek:

[maxiumum perversions]

what would u say if i said i want you? real corny but it actually did work for me and never imagined it would. :cool:

[quivers]

yea !!!! but i want spit polishing please

only the best, By quiver!

[PineyRooter]

didn't know you were a Marine - once a Marine, always a Marine - #3 son spent 4 years in Marines - been out 2 years - THANK YOU GOD
Marine here too Mom...70'-73' Semper Fi!
Best pick-up line that worked for me was one very late night at a bar, almost closing time, I asked a gal simply if she wanted to Fuck......she says " yeah if you dance with me first" oh did I dance!

[Mom]

Marine here too Mom...70'-73' Semper Fi!
Best pick-up line that worked for me was one very late night at a bar, almost closing time, I asked a gal simply if she wanted to Fuck......she says " yeah if you dance with me first" oh did I dance!
ooorhaaa (sp)

[AlterBabe]

A g/f of mine has one...

Is your last name Campbell? Cause you look mmm mmmmmm good!

Corny as shit...but coming from a woman it's hilarious!

[alwayshard]

A g/f of mine has one...

Is your last name Campbell? Cause you look mmm mmmmmm good!

Corny as shit...but coming from a woman it's hilarious!
well i would have too agree ...funny :)

[PineyRooter]

well i would have too agree ...funny :)
How about that old one " if I told you that you have a beautiful body would you hold it against me?" lol

[Joe Neckbone]

:eek:
:confused:

[chrisalextine]

did it hurt? when you fell form heaven...

[quivers]

:confused:


Don't be confused.. hehehe.. strokes face it's OK!

[primarilybored30]

nice ass could I wear it as a hat???? :p

[cheekylips]

In a bar with friends, this guy comes up with loads of concession flyers for the club me and my friends are going to afterwards, I take a bundle of them off him offering to hand them out. On the street on the way to the club met as many groups of lovely girls as possible and introduced myself as the club rep. "Hey girls nice to see you there" etc, all chat. Once in the club girls that show up come up to me and thank me. Chat up lines? it's all in the preparation. Didn't get laid that night from what I remember but met many nice girls and had fun.

[rooster1969]

Straddle my crotch.,strangely enough it worked. It was one of those cases where I could have said anything.....So I did.

[galador]

Straddle my crotch.,strangely enough it worked. It was one of those cases where I could have said anything.....So I did.
she was drunk wasnt she??? :D

[nphxcpl4fun]

I was at bar and the friend (female) I was with told one of the servers that I did massage, the chick immediatly asked for one and I told her to come sit down, it was slow so she did, I started rubbing her neck and she asked how much I charged, I told her all she had to do was blow me in the parking lot after I finnished the massage, she turned to look at me and chuckled, of course one of her coworkers came up and asked for a massage to, the one I was already doing looked at me and said she would pay what you ask, lol, ... anyway then another customer came up and asked to get in line, I told her my rate she smiled with huge teeth and said okay but I scrape (how could she know I loved a toothy bj?), so I told her she could be next, then this chicks Mom came up and said I want one, The daughter tried to get her away before I told her what I was saying about needing a bj for the massage, I stopped her and told the Mom that I what I had been telling everyone else then told her I did not need a bj from her, Instead I wanted to go down on her for an hour or so after her massage, she smiled huge and nodded her head, her daughter shrieked and then Mom's large black bf turned around all ready to be confrontational, I was rolling lmfao, he looked me up and down thought better of trying to start any trouble and just turned back around, my friend could not get me out of the bar fast enough, btw I was straight, had been drinking oj :)

[Mom]

she was drunk wasnt she??? :D
or dumb or both

[AlterBabe]

nice ass could I wear it as a hat???? :p

Beautiful!!! *snorts*

[alwayshard]

alterbabe pls wrap your legs around my head and sit that HOT sweet ass on my face

[AlterBabe]

alterbabe pls wrap your legs around my head and sit that HOT sweet ass on my face

Ohhhhhh...when you put it THAT way!! :D

[FIREPHD/PA]

Hey Alter.. forget bout the mechanical bull.... Ill give you a ride.. and it will last all nite looong...!!

[sin-thia]

Hey Alter.. forget bout the mechanical bull.... Ill give you a ride.. and it will last all nite looong...!!
Is that your pick-up line fire?????? :D :D

How the heck are you?

[FIREPHD/PA]

Is that your pick-up line fire?????? :D :D

How the heck are you?

I prefer to work my hose into my pickup line.. That line was just for Alter....LOL

Im doing good, and yourself?? Taking it day by day... Ready for the rest of my vacation..

[sin-thia]

I prefer to work my hose into my pickup line.. That line was just for Alter....LOL

Im doing good, and yourself?? Taking it day by day... Ready for the rest of my vacation..
I knew what you meant. I just thought it was funny! :)

I'm good, just some last minute stuff tonight and then relaxing for awhile. Wanted to go to the movies today but that didn't happen. So maybe after Christmas - that's a luxury I never get.

[FIREPHD/PA]

I knew what you meant. I just thought it was funny! :)

I'm good, just some last minute stuff tonight and then relaxing for awhile. Wanted to go to the movies today but that didn't happen. So maybe after Christmas - that's a luxury I never get.

I know what you mean.. I want to go see the new Rocky movie... but Im taking the nieces New Years eve to go see happy feet.. again.. and ??? god only knows what else... Im sleepin in on xmas morning too.. for a change.. I don't have to go to work....LOL

[Horny_yesman]

Mind if I talk to you until it's safe down there where I farted?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Would you like Gin and Platonic, or Scotch and Sofa?

When God said, "Let there be woman," he created you.

Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are HOT!

I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see around here.

You sure have a great looking tooth.

Are you religious? You're the answer to my prayers.

Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I’m asking for only one.

My friend wants to know if you were born in those jeans.

Your place or your place? Because my place is a dump!

You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy.

Falling for you would be a very short trip.

Don’t stop! I don’t usually get to see beauty in motion.

Do you know why the sky is so gray? All the blue is in your eyes.

You’re so fine, you make me want to go out and get a job.

Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.

Those must be space pants, 'cause your butt is out of this world!

I think I’ve just found the angel I’d like to be touched by.

Can I lick that film off your teeth?

Don't be so picky....I wasn't!

Let's go behind that rock, and get a little boulder.

You look a lot like my future wife.

I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking you out.

Did they just take you out of the oven? Because you’re hot!

Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Without my glasses, you couldn't pass for a female.

You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala.

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

Want to play conductor? You be the engineer and I'll go choo choo.

What do you like for breakfast?

Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

I want to call your mother and thank her.

Your daddy must be a thief, because he stole the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes.

That outfit would look great crumpled up on the floor at the foot of my bed.

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

My name is [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.

Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

(Look at his / her shirt label) When they say, "What are you doing?", you say, "Checking to see if you were made in heaven."

There must be something wrong with my eyes, because I can't take them off you.

All those curves, and me with no brakes.

If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Do you know how to use a whip?

Can you give me directions...to your heart?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

I hope you know CPR, 'cause you take my breath away.

You look just like Joan Rivers.

Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I'll still make your bed rock.

Seeing all those reminds why I NEVER EVER used a line they sound cheap AND phony! :mad: :confused: :eek:

[Terry Gianacana]

I'm a professional musician, so I'm in clubs all the time. One of the funniest pick-up lines I heard was "Are those mirrors on your jeans? I can see myself in your ass."

To my way of thinking, a simple smile and introduction tells a woman everything she needs to know; if she invites you to join her in conversation, be respectful and friendly. What happens next will hopefully be enjoyable. It may not lead to sex, but what's so bad about meeting and talking to an attractive woman who understands you have the intelligence and decency to simply express interest?

Cheesy pick-up lines may sometimes win the player a roll in the hay, but there's nothing cheesy about Hep-C or the other bugs out there. Get to know her. Respect yourself.

[cowgirlup]

Here ya go MyN!

[Mom]

I'm a professional musician, so I'm in clubs all the time. One of the funniest pick-up lines I heard was "Are those mirrors on your jeans? I can see myself in your ass."

To my way of thinking, a simple smile and introduction tells a woman everything she needs to know; if she invites you to join her in conversation, be respectful and friendly. What happens next will hopefully be enjoyable. It may not lead to sex, but what's so bad about meeting and talking to an attractive woman who understands you have the intelligence and decency to simply express interest?

Cheesy pick-up lines may sometimes win the player a roll in the hay, but there's nothing cheesy about Hep-C or the other bugs out there. Get to know her. Respect yourself.
Damn - a Newbie that I don't have to whip into shape - Amen brother and welcome to back page

[Mudman2001]

For those of you who fly:

Wanna go VFR-on-Top?

[john32810]

probably - and puppies work alsoyeh...i'd love to see the puppies