I need advise and help

[latinabunny]

hi. i just need some help. i'm 21yrs old, married and have a beautiful 6 month old girl. i just wanted to know how excatly did anybody know they were lesbian or bi. cuz i love men, thats why i'm married to one and with child, but i've always had the urge to be with another women but afraid to. espically now that i'm married. i like looking at porn and watching two women go at it. i espically love watching another woman lick and suck another womans breast, and always fantazie about me doing that or it being done to me. but have never did anything with another woman for the fear i might not like it and feel wrong for doing it. my husband doesn't even have a clue about my desires. he said he joking around he would let me do another girl only once and thats it because he doesn't want me to leave him for another female if she does a really good job, so he's kinda iffy about it, but he says he knows i'll never do it. but like i said he has know idea what i do on the internet or what i fantazie about when i masturbate. someone please help me on how i can truly know if i really like other women without it hurting my marriage...

[aging1]

You are going through what many women do. It does not mean you are gay. Sometimes it relates to an experience you had when you were young and the taboo is often the attraction. For some women, it is the curiosity and that they have lost faith in themselves due to weight gain or other factors that make you think you have to find happiness in other ways; not ruling out other ways to satisfy their spouses. Do Not make the mistake of a three - way! It will ruin your trust for one another and give him the green light to go out and cheat! Yes, I speak from past experience. Is it possible that you feel you don't look as good to your spouse as you did before you became pregnant? If this is how you feel, you may be seeking approval from the same sex because you feel that they are not so judgemental as a man would be. There is a natural maternal comfort. I too am a mother; of two teenage boys and find myself seeking the taboo friendship of another woman. My husband knows I used to practice the same sex lifestyle and it also makes him nervous. He has asked me several times how I feel about it and I feel I have to lie to him to reassure him because I will never leave him. However, I watch the videos and notice a beautiful woman, but I have to supress myself. I would like to have a "friend" to run around with and other things on a low profile, but am concerned that my "friend" might become too attached and ruin my marriage. So I fear following through. I just want someone to hang around with and enjoy the taboo with no commitment. So I feel your pain. Read the new times this week, it has an excellent article. Hang in there.

[latinabunny]

thanks for the info. i feel like i just wanna have a "friend" on the side also. i just want to see how'll it will feel but what if i like it too much. i don't know if i'll ever have the courage to ever find out. maybe afraid someone would find out and tell my husband.

[Checking]

I'd say bring it up to your husband. Just throw it out there one day. Mention that it's crossed your mind a couple times and see what he thinks. Maybe he'd be into it afterall. Maybe you could suggest a threesome? Most guys are up for trying anything at least once. I'm sure it would bother him much less if you kept him up on everything that happens. What do you think?

[HOUSTON6969]

Latinabunny your husband is a lucky man i wish my wife wanted to fuck another girl with me involve

[Jay007]

I would tell him I read about 2 women and a husband and see how he reacts to the conversation!!

[kellbell05]

I know what you mean...but I have had the experience with several women and it has been a long time. I love to watch pornos and I get so turned on when watching two women together. I don't consider me lesbian, but bi because I do have a boyfriend and right now he is away for a year or so and gave me permission to meet a woman to fullfill my needs, and he knows I like to be with another woman. He would like it if I met a woman to have a threesome together, but I hope he makes it back to share that fantasy of his. I am wanting to meet another woman to have fun together. ;)

[SIMMCO]

Like You Said , You Love Men ( Your Husband ) And It Normal To Want To Know What It Feels Like To Be With Another Woman , It Doesnt Mean Your Gay Or Anything , But If You Like It , You Maybe Bi , But Is That A Bad Thing ?? I Dont Think So , You Just Enjoy The Best Of Both Worlds , Put Away The Fear And Try It , Other Wise You Will Never Know , And Girl And Girl Is More Acceptiable Then Guy With Guy , Life Is Short , Try New And Different Things , Life Life To The Fullest , But Always Stay Safe , And Do No Harm To Others

[latinknightkck]

hi. i just need some help. i'm 21yrs old, married and have a beautiful 6 month old girl. i just wanted to know how excatly did anybody know they were lesbian or bi. cuz i love men, thats why i'm married to one and with child, but i've always had the urge to be with another women but afraid to. espically now that i'm married. i like looking at porn and watching two women go at it. i espically love watching another woman lick and suck another womans breast, and always fantazie about me doing that or it being done to me. but have never did anything with another woman for the fear i might not like it and feel wrong for doing it. my husband doesn't even have a clue about my desires. he said he joking around he would let me do another girl only once and thats it because he doesn't want me to leave him for another female if she does a really good job, so he's kinda iffy about it, but he says he knows i'll never do it. but like i said he has know idea what i do on the internet or what i fantazie about when i masturbate. someone please help me on how i can truly know if i really like other women without it hurting my marriage...
I would say if he isn't that great of a hubby or great in bed, Go for it. Explore your true feelings for a woman to see if you are lez or Bi, or just curious. If he gets pissed, fuck it its your life not his! :)

[latinabunny]

i want 2 thank everyone for there advise. i'll take everything in. if uwant 2 know i haven't tried anything yet. but i just need to find the right woman first :) .

[penn444]

JC if your husband is pressuring you, that is not a good sign. with an old ex-of mine. I was pressuring her to have a threesome for the wrong reason. ssex between the 2 of us sucked. It was so bad I was ready to leave her. I thought," the only way I can stay in this relationship is if I get good sex". I didn't want to cheat on her so I tried that route. Needless to say It was another nail in the coffin on that one.

Now, I have had other threesomes in relationships where our sexlife was great- we were both total pervs and mature enough to where a threesome didn't hurt us.

Basically If your relationship isn't 100% strong your askin for trouble. and after you do have a threesome, be ready for trouble

[latinabunny]

don't worry JC i'm not planning to have a threesome with my hubby. i don't share at all when it comes to my man. but i just wanted to try a relationship with another woman. but ur right i do have a child (7 month old) and she is one of the reason that i haven't done anything yet. cuz if i do get into a relationship with another woman and my hubby found out he'll be pissed and pissed that he didn't get to join but more pissed if i continued the relationship further than a day. he has told me i could but only one time and never again cuz that would make him mad. probably think he's not doing i good for me where i had to find a woman who could do it right. i'm still thinking really hard about this whole thing....

[Maria73110]

Why do men think that women can not fall in love with other women ? So strongly that they are willing to follow their hearts ? I know a couple of marriages where husbands encouraged their wives to be involved with other women. Later on, the wives found out that they prefer to be with the woman for various reasons. Guys, you might as well know that allowing your wife to have sex with another woman is no different than letting them have sex with another man. But that is not the point I want to make here.

I just want you to be yourself. Address your concerns and feelings. Only you will know the truth for your self. And if it means leaving your husband, it is because you were never happy with him to begin with. It is a harsh reality that someone better might come along. That is why the only legit assurance you can give your husband is that you are with him because you CHOOSE to be with him, and not that it is your "obligation" to be with him. People come and go. Better even. But if you consciously know and choose to be with a person, then the other women will never be a threat to your relationship.

[jgallo10]

I know what you mean...but I have had the experience with several women and it has been a long time. I love to watch pornos and I get so turned on when watching two women together. I don't consider me lesbian, but bi because I do have a boyfriend and right now he is away for a year or so and gave me permission to meet a woman to fullfill my needs, and he knows I like to be with another woman. He would like it if I met a woman to have a threesome together, but I hope he makes it back to share that fantasy of his. I am wanting to meet another woman to have fun together. ;)


let me know, I will also send you an e-amil.

[jgallo10]

I know what you mean...but I have had the experience with several women and it has been a long time. I love to watch pornos and I get so turned on when watching two women together. I don't consider me lesbian, but bi because I do have a boyfriend and right now he is away for a year or so and gave me permission to meet a woman to fullfill my needs, and he knows I like to be with another woman. He would like it if I met a woman to have a threesome together, but I hope he makes it back to share that fantasy of his. I am wanting to meet another woman to have fun together. ;)

I will also send you an e-mail to exchange......

[annette]

RIGHT NOW I HAVE THOUGH SAME FELLING BUT I DON'T KNOW TO DO IT :confused:

[laoriginal]

my name is ruby and I have read your doubts about being lesbian well let me tell you that I feel the same urge to be with a woman I am too married and have no children but like you said i too fantisize about having sex with another woman just thinking about it makes me get wet i would love to know more about you and maybe meet you some day if your up for the chalege go ahead and write back by baby, ;)

[ligkher]

follow your instincts girls and remember most men are very insecure some a lot more than others and labels are just that labels that don't really count for very much,love allyou wonderful girls and i don't care what you call yourselves .love ligkher :)

[slyvestor]

If it makes you feel any better my wife told me that she wanted to experience a female. At first I thought hell yeah ... threesome. She was also honest and let me know she wanted to do it without me around. I very much respected her wishes and told her it would be okay. She did not have anyone in mind at the time either. So I left it up to her to take it at her own pace, and of coarse be safe about because at the time we also had a 11-12 month old. The only thing I asked was her to be honest and open with me. I did not want to pressure her or give her guilt as well. Long story short, it happened, she liked it, and then a whole new world opened up in our relationship. Some times honesty is a good approach, but I am not going to say your husband will be the same way. It doesn't hurt to bring it up even jokenly to get a feeling ... you never know.

[henrydhand]

Well....I have a few gay friends and I understand what you are going through. I have dealt with homosexuals and bisexuals quite a bit. You are still young, 21. Human sexuality does not usually fully develop until you are approaching 45! Maybe 21 was too young to get married, I do not think people should be married until they are atleast 28-29, but that is my personal opinion, not judging you in any way. I know a few people who have married before 28-29 and divorced, my mother one of them. Your feelings for other women are natural...yes natural. Every woman needs other women in their life...but the sexual feelings are not "natural". There are a few areas you need to explore to see if these feelings are really YOU or if you are just going through a stage in life, maybe some depression.

Do you have any friends of the same sex? If you dont or you have few then these feelings you are having are not truly sexual, they just feel sexual. Everyone needs to be around people of the same sex, but it does not need to be sexual.

Are you having "bad sex" or not enough sex with your husband? Bad sex would create a sex drive for someone else; possibly excluding men because your husband is a man and your brain is telling you men = bad sex. If you also have few lady friends (related to the question above) then these two desires you have are being put together creating homosexual feelings. This is very confusing I know but it COULD explain your lesbian feelings.

Also, you are just barely out of teenage years; MANY teenagers suffer from homosexual feelings. Were you experiencing these homosexual feelings before or are you experiencing these for the 1st time? You could still have some sexual developing to do (like I said above, human sexuality does not fully develop until 45 in many cases).

If you would like to communicate with me further in private please feel free to PM me or e mail me...my e mail address is not hidden on the members list.

BTW...I am not a doctor or psychologist or anything like that; I just have some homosexual friends and after being with them I have noticed some correlations between some of them.

Hope this helps :D