View Full Version : Your funniest drunken sex episode
quivers
12-21-2006, 03:21 PM
We all have at least one if not more of these. I need a good belly laugh..
The funniest one I have ever heard, was from a guy it was his first time going down on a female they had been drinking went back to his parents house. he took her to the basement with his mom and dad upstairs. It was dark down there and his dad had called him to come upstairs. When he finally got up there his cousin was there. His dad and his cousin were just staring at him mouths open. He said what's wrong? thinking something bad had happened. His dad said, son I think you need to go wash those red wings off your face! lmao... he went to the hall bath and looked in the mirror then puked in the toilet. He could not return downstairs and face this female. So his cousin went and told her he had gotten ill she should go home. He has never lived it down. His cousin later told him it was a good thing he left the lights off for more then one reason.
primarilybored30
12-21-2006, 03:44 PM
I was once with this girl that all the guys wanted to get with, till that night. Well we got fairly liquored up and ended up in a sleeping bag in the back of my buddies blazer, along with several other couples(it started raining) any how I was doing a little finguring getting her all worked up. She soon started moaning in my ear asking if she could come home with me, I was wanting to do her right then and there!!! But as it was some one had to piss so they all got out of the truck. But when I opened up the sleeping bag I got hit with the fowlest stench i had ever experienced. I jumped out closed the bag and walk to the woods to piss. At this point the driver asked if any body else smelled skunk. they all started looking for the dead skunk that had to be under the back of the truck. At that point one of this girls friends told her to get out of the truck so the guys could look in the back. Bad move she opened the bag, every buddy immediatly new what the stink was and politely walked away, with of course lots of laughter. Poor girl never did come back to school. And it took me a long time to live that down. And to think I saved some other poor smuck the problems of finding out on their own. I am just thank full for the guy who had to piss. I dont know how I would have handled finding that out on my own at the house.
I was once with this girl that all the guys wanted to get with, till that night. Well we got fairly liquored up and ended up in a sleeping bag in the back of my buddies blazer, along with several other couples(it started raining) any how I was doing a little finguring getting her all worked up. She soon started moaning in my ear asking if she could come home with me, I was wanting to do her right then and there!!! But as it was some one had to piss so they all got out of the truck. But when I opened up the sleeping bag I got hit with the fowlest stench i had ever experienced. I jumped out closed the bag and walk to the woods to piss. At this point the driver asked if any body else smelled skunk. they all started looking for the dead skunk that had to be under the back of the truck. At that point one of this girls friends told her to get out of the truck so the guys could look in the back. Bad move she opened the bag, every buddy immediatly new what the stink was and politely walked away, with of course lots of laughter. Poor girl never did come back to school. And it took me a long time to live that down. And to think I saved some other poor smuck the problems of finding out on their own. I am just thank full for the guy who had to piss. I dont know how I would have handled finding that out on my own at the house.
I am surprised your little psyce wasn't permenantly ruined - oh yea, you are here so it was ruined
slowhand562
12-21-2006, 03:57 PM
Chocolate Darling: check your PM
Chocolate Darling: check your PM
CD's not on this thread
slowhand562
12-21-2006, 04:00 PM
CD's not on this thread
That where it says she is. Where did she go?
Chocalate darling
12-21-2006, 04:00 PM
In college my bf and I were playing a game with shots and the game was designed to get you messed up and I never drank liquor before any way with the liquor came the desire to have sex and I know we had sex.. but the next thing I remember I was on the floor buck ass naked and he is standing in the shower with his mattress (apparently I threw up on it and he asked me what to do and I said put it in the shower, but I am pretty sure I was talking about me) so he pulls it out and starts blow drying it...and his roomate ended up putting me in the shower and washing me up and he is my best friend to this day.....after this I have never gotten drunk again and I was told I was saying some pretty wild shit that I can't live down
conomaldito
12-21-2006, 04:16 PM
Back in my teens I got drunk in a nightclub and after closing time I headed over to a house party.. I was ringing the bell at my mates door a few times and getting no answer so I fell asleep on the doorstep..
The rest of the story is only what I was told had happenned..
Eventually someone came to the door and found me asleep and decided to shout to the others in the house to come and see the paralytic drunk..
Anyway , They dragged me inside and proceeded to shave off my head of hair and my eyebrows..
They intended to shave my cock and balls as well but when they got my pants down they realised I'd pissed myself , so they just left me lying there with my willie hanging out because thats how it was when I woke up the next morning.. Fuck knows if anyone took a suck on it..
I can laugh at it now and kinda see it as a lucky break that I'd pissed myself because there's nothing worse than the "7 day itch" that follows having a full cock and ball shave..
Cally
12-21-2006, 05:00 PM
OMG i haven't got a drinking story, but i have a close friend who told me this one once:
he was out at a pub one evening having some newcastle ale.... all night long. He picked up some girl to take home with him, and as they were walking, he had to pass gas. he figured that the wind was blowing so strong that she'd never hear it, so he went ahead and ripped one.
needless to say, he should have found the toilet first
ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
primarilybored30
12-21-2006, 05:49 PM
I am surprised your little psyce wasn't permenantly ruined - oh yea, you are here so it was ruined
yeah its ruined...but with all these fine folks on BP I am managing well enough thanks.
nphxcpl4fun
12-21-2006, 09:56 PM
celabrating my baby brother 's wedding, we walked the riverwalk in Laughlin NV, I think I had two fishbowls and a yardstick of Hurricanes, probably more they just kept topping me off from thier drinks, One bartender got tired of seeing me ($5.00 refills:)) so th elast time he filled my yard stick he put maybe a cup of juice and then just held one of the rum triggers down till I was topped off, told me not to come back again, Anyway I humped a parking pole, vaguely remember not taking my pants down, my brother his new wife and my wife just walking away denying they knew me
Chocalate darling
12-21-2006, 09:59 PM
celabrating my baby brother 's wedding, we walked the riverwalk in Laughlin NV, I think I had two fishbowls and a yardstick of Hurricanes, probably more they just kept topping me off from thier drinks, One bartender got tired of seeing me ($5.00 refills:)) so th elast time he filled my yard stick he put maybe a cup of juice and then just held one of the rum triggers down till I was topped off, told me not to come back again, Anyway I humped a parking pole, vaguely remember not taking my pants down, my brother his new wife and my wife just walking away denying they knew me
THE BEST SO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
galador
12-22-2006, 12:21 AM
ummmmm..... maybe one day I will share another story, but I think my first one in the other thread needs to marinate for a while lol
quivers
12-22-2006, 04:36 AM
Anyway I humped a parking pole, vaguely remember not taking my pants down, my brother his new wife and my wife just walking away denying they knew me[/QUOTE]
Would this be considered "Frottage" or does it have to be another person envolved.
quivers
12-22-2006, 04:38 AM
ummmmm..... maybe one day I will share another story, but I think my first one in the other thread needs to marinate for a while lol
eeewwwwwww.... shivers!
galador
12-22-2006, 04:48 AM
and morning to you too quivers lol.... maybe "marinate" was the wrong word to use, considering the situation..... :D
quivers
12-22-2006, 04:52 AM
Morning Galador,
It was pre coffee reading.. left me feeling a bit like I'm having no breakfast today.
Morning Galador,
It was pre coffee reading.. left me feeling a bit like I'm having no breakfast today.
Morning Ms. Quivers.
galador
12-22-2006, 05:01 AM
bah, you will still have breakfast..... unless you actually read the other one.....
quivers
12-22-2006, 05:30 AM
Morning MOM,
coffee is hot, and yummy! A small comfort morning noon and night. it's a wonder I ever sleep at night.
TheGrizz
12-22-2006, 05:38 AM
did someone say coffee??? I could use a gallon or two about now....
did someone say coffee??? I could use a gallon or two about now....
If I am awake it is made and sometimes when I am not awake - how do you take yours.
galador
12-22-2006, 05:44 AM
Morning grizz
TheGrizz
12-22-2006, 05:49 AM
If I am awake it is made and sometimes when I am not awake - how do you take yours.
I take coffe just like my tequilla, STRAIGHT:D
TheGrizz
12-22-2006, 05:50 AM
Morning grizz
mornin' buddy, how are ya?
I take coffe just like my tequilla, STRAIGHT:D
me too - the coffee and the tequilla
topdog11
12-22-2006, 05:52 AM
If I am awake it is made and sometimes when I am not awake - how do you take yours.
Fresh cup in front of me...........Black with suger!
TheGrizz
12-22-2006, 05:53 AM
me too - the coffee and the tequilla
of course last night it was Captain Morgan.....hence the dire need of coffee:cool:
FIREPHD/PA
12-22-2006, 05:56 AM
Morning.. Grizz, MOM, Quiv..Galador...
galador
12-22-2006, 06:01 AM
morning fire and doin good grizz how about you?