so confused

[broken2266]

Hi I have known this guy for 8 months now and really
like him a lot, he knows that I like him. We have
gone out a few times and we have also been intimate a
few times. He tells me that he doesn't want anything
serious and I told him I respected that and so we have
continued to be friends with benefits. He told me
once that I wouldn't want him as he does nothing but
work and that no matter how hard he tries to have
feelings for someone else it just isn't there and that
he still loves his ex wife he has been divorced for I
think two years and she is remarried he was really
hurt by her. what the problem is, is that he only
wants to see me every couple of months and that is all
we pretty much talk or get together. A while back he
saw me with another man and he made it a point to say
hello to me then a couple days later I got a text
message from him saying " how was your hot date the
other nite" in which I replied that he was just a
friend. Over a month passed and then he asked me out
to supper and to go play pool etc so I agreed and we
do seem to have a great time when we are together,
during supper he brought it up again and said " so
whats up with this new man and you" I once again said
he was just a friend and then he wanted to know what
he does and where he was from and how I met him etc,
then he mentioned again about seeing us together.
After supper we went and played pool where he saw some
of his friends and one of them was saying something
about not having a girlfriend and he told his friend
thats good keep it that way single is the only way to
be. He has profiles on dating sites that says he is
looking for a serious relationship but yet he tells me
he doesn't want to be serious with anyone. I know he
hasn't been going to the sites though as he doesn't
have internet right now and we are on some of the same
sites. so my real question is this: Why was he
acting so jealous and wondering about this other man
he saw me with if he doesn't want to be with me? When
he left my house the other nite he made the comment
well see you again in a couple of months but then said
we will do this again soon. I don't get it should I
keep dating other men? I have seen him with another
woman before and never questioned him about it. My
head says forget him but my heart says no.

I would like to add that during our supper date when we were talking about this other guy we also got on the conversation and he said how he likes his independence so that he doesn't have to explain to anyone etc where he has been and we were both talking a bit how we felt and I did tell him that I want to be in a relationship but I never said with him but I also told him that I was scared to be in one as I don't want to be hurt again either. When our date was over and he brought me home he was just gonna drop me off, he never asked to come in I invited him in and we have went out a few times before where there was no sex involved so I think that he truly does want to be friends even if there is no sex so why did he act like that if he doesn't expect sex every time we do go out?

[WildeSpirit]

He's playing games. He wants you available when he decides he needs you. I wouldn't wait around for him. You'll only end up getting hurt.

[AndyTampa]

He's playing games. He wants you available when he decides he needs you. I wouldn't wait around for him. You'll only end up getting hurt.
Wilde, you are right, but I disagree with the playing games part. It appears he's made his intentions quite clear. For whatever reason, Broken2266 wants to read more into the relationship than what he has already said. If Broken wants to continue in this relationship, she knows exactly what she's involved in, even if she wants it to be something else. She reads his curiosity as jealousy. She reads "in a couple months" and "see you soon" as conflicting because of whatever she is feeling.

Broken, you are in an open relationship, and you know it. That's why you don't question it when you see him with another woman. If you're not okay with the current situation, change it. There really isn't any confusion here.

[Otto]

I agree with Andy. I don't see any evidence that this guy is jealous. Curious, more likely. If he were hounding you day and night about seeing others, you'd need a restraining order.

Keep on dating other dudes. Seems to me you're lucky to have a male friend that cares for you regardless of benefits. It could be that his divorce has soured him regarding future commitment. I think that if he's seriously interested in a more-than-platonic relationship with you, you're just gonna have to wait and see. Guys are bastards that way...lol. Keep on doing what you're doing. He'll either show his hand, or fold.

BTW.....nice run-on sentences.

[AndyTampa]

BTW.....nice run-on sentences.
Who would have thought that a speech could be written in 15 sentences? :confused:

[Hottomalie2]

I do believe he is playing games, but so are you. You are in a very open relationship. He has never told you otherwise. If you keep going back to him when he calls, then you are letting him lead you on. Just date other guys. Don't make yourself so available to him and when he calls you the next time, be busy. I don't care if you have to paint your toenails, be busy. Don't go running everytime he calls and then expect more from him.

[DVLS_ADVT]

Who says SUPPER anymore?????????

[kellbell05]

Who says SUPPER anymore?????????
my grandparents

[Groucho]

And what if he uis playing games? This woman agreed on the deal of being friends with him with fringe benefits. This can also be in her favor, like if she needs and wants sex she can have him also. It works both way.

[Avapxia]

And what if he uis playing games? This woman agreed on the deal of being friends with him with fringe benefits. This can also be in her favor, like if she needs and wants sex she can have him also. It works both way.

A line from a movie that sticks to mind:
You can have a dog as a friend
you can have whiskey as a friend
but if you try to have a woman as a friend
you're going to end up with an empty bottle of whiskey kissing your dog! :p

[Avapxia]

He's playing games. He wants you available when he decides he needs you. I wouldn't wait around for him. You'll only end up getting hurt.

If it wasn't for pain love would be meaningless.
And if it wasn't for love pain would be meaningless.
So if you don't want pain, take a pill and masturbate endlessly!

And I do mean this in a nice way!

...oooohh... you are just gonna get hurt.....

WHOOPP SHIT DO! I ride dirt bikes, should you tell me I'm gonna get hurt?
I know I am, again and again I am! So!!!! Human life hurts, what are you a freaking robot? Or are you on something? Or did daddy buy you a boyfriend to call husband and now you collect lillies in your 50 acre backyard and worry about a little mosquito biting ya!

People like you piss me off so bad! Why don't you take a ride on that private jet of your daddy's to downtown Baghdad and see if you find someone to love you for who you really are! Oiiinnkk oinnnkkk...... Looooveeee ride!

Wake up and smell the diesel fumes behind my Peterbilt cause I'm taking you for a ride!