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azguy
12-28-2009, 12:22 PM
so me and wife have been together for about 15 years. well her sex drive has really taken a dive over past 3 years.
Well she had company x-mas party this month, she told me it was employee only and was just dinner at a resturant with co-workers downtown. well she asked if i minded dropping her off and shed take a taxi home, i didnt think anything of it and gladly did it. she got home about 2am, i had tried to stay awake but i couldnt. i could tell she was pretty drunk and i thought it was kinda funny.
well saturday night we were in bed together and she started crying and told me she had to tell me something. well i guess after the x-mas party her and 3 other co workers wound up at one of their houses and was drinking and having a good time. well one thing led to another and she ended up fucking all 3 of them!!!

ill be honest, i am totally shocked, hurt and humiliated right now, we have kids and i dont want to leave her, but im not sure i can get over this.

is counseling the key or......?

virote
12-29-2009, 12:39 AM
Depends on the results of the std test, buddy. Give an update in three months after the aids test comes back clean, and you'll have a better idea of where to go from there.

CliffSD
12-29-2009, 06:06 AM
so me and wife have been together for about 15 years. well her sex drive has really taken a dive over past 3 years.
Well she had company x-mas party this month, she told me it was employee only and was just dinner at a resturant with co-workers downtown. well she asked if i minded dropping her off and shed take a taxi home, i didnt think anything of it and gladly did it. she got home about 2am, i had tried to stay awake but i couldnt. i could tell she was pretty drunk and i thought it was kinda funny.
well saturday night we were in bed together and she started crying and told me she had to tell me something. well i guess after the x-mas party her and 3 other co workers wound up at one of their houses and was drinking and having a good time. well one thing led to another and she ended up fucking all 3 of them!!!

ill be honest, i am totally shocked, hurt and humiliated right now, we have kids and i dont want to leave her, but im not sure i can get over this.

is counseling the key or......?

She should have invited you and let you watch, so you could have sloppy fourths afterwards. Maybe you could arrange a party so she could perform such a show for you. She owes you that much!

kzolly
12-29-2009, 07:02 AM
Definitely get counseling...go for yourself first before trying couples counseling. You need to take care of yourself first. Ultimately forgiving her trasgression will have to come first before you an get back to saving your marriage. I'll ray for you both....

TheDude
12-29-2009, 07:19 AM
being honest that is a pretty big oops, i could see getting drunk and kissing a guy and realizing the error, but going that extreme when she has been not sexual for years is pretty out there. I would personaly need to see someone to get me over not wanting to hurt the other guys for taking advantage of the situation. But i would leave her if it was me, she was in the wrong....:( sorry dude

Jaywashere
12-29-2009, 09:43 PM
so me and wife have been together for about 15 years. well her sex drive has really taken a dive over past 3 years.
Well she had company x-mas party this month, she told me it was employee only and was just dinner at a resturant with co-workers downtown. well she asked if i minded dropping her off and shed take a taxi home, i didnt think anything of it and gladly did it. she got home about 2am, i had tried to stay awake but i couldnt. i could tell she was pretty drunk and i thought it was kinda funny.
well saturday night we were in bed together and she started crying and told me she had to tell me something. well i guess after the x-mas party her and 3 other co workers wound up at one of their houses and was drinking and having a good time. well one thing led to another and she ended up fucking all 3 of them!!!

ill be honest, i am totally shocked, hurt and humiliated right now, we have kids and i dont want to leave her, but im not sure i can get over this.

is counseling the key or......?


Sounds to me that a couple things are wrong with this situation. First its really dropped off over the last 3 years no biggie but it will tie in with the story later.

2. She has u drop her off but plans on have a taxi bring her home, nope!!!!

3. Company christmas parties usually involve spouse/boyfriends atleast all the ones i've been to have.

4. Most company parties are dead by midnight.

5. She goes to a house with these 3 guys.

6. What would she do if u used i was drunk but banged 1 other girl,not to mention all 3 of them.

Basically it boils down to you married a dirty, dirty whore, and someone was going to tell you from her job or a mutual freind so she came clean. She shat where she ate.

Screw therapy stay in it for the kids but don't screw her anymore, because she's been screwing u over for alot longer than u think. Save your money and hide it in a family members name because a year from now she will have papers drawn up for divorce, oh and make sure u keep your dick to yourself so u can keep most of your shit

AnthonySFla
01-15-2010, 01:45 PM
This could be the start of something big. Tell her you want to fuck 3 of her friends while she watches. This will add a spark to your sex life!!!

cynmercy
01-18-2010, 01:08 PM
Dude,
Jaywashere is right... I've been to employee only parties before, the problem is when she left with three dudes. Yeah, there is more to that story. That just doesn't happen. I'm feeling this isn't new to here, and that dive in sex is just probably with you. Dude just get your STD test and get out of this relationship. It's one thing having a fling with one dude, but three. Dude!!!

yar1
01-22-2010, 06:57 AM
Feel your pain, I caught my 1st wife also and this is what happen to me.
Lost control I beat the life out of her she went into cardiac arrest.
Got arrested pleaded to my wifes father to have mercy on me.
stay in jail for about 2wks.
Part of the get out of jail plea was:
1. Give up everthing which included condo, savings, cash , 2 cars, lv the country that I was living in at the time, came back to America w 2suitcases and USD300.00. Lost everthing she cheated I snapped!!

My point is it ate me alive and I snapped that goodness she did not die!!
If you can look in the mirror and her in the face and still like what you see then god bless you. I thought i could but it was like a ticking time bomb in me that I could not stop. I say cut her loose move on w the kids, and house and savings etc etc ect..
good luck

emilynghiem
01-22-2010, 03:07 PM
so me and wife have been together for about 15 years. well her sex drive has really taken a dive over past 3 years.
Well she had company x-mas party this month, she told me it was employee only and was just dinner at a resturant with co-workers downtown. well she asked if i minded dropping her off and shed take a taxi home, i didnt think anything of it and gladly did it. she got home about 2am, i had tried to stay awake but i couldnt. i could tell she was pretty drunk and i thought it was kinda funny.
well saturday night we were in bed together and she started crying and told me she had to tell me something. well i guess after the x-mas party her and 3 other co workers wound up at one of their houses and was drinking and having a good time. well one thing led to another and she ended up fucking all 3 of them!!!

ill be honest, i am totally shocked, hurt and humiliated right now, we have kids and i dont want to leave her, but im not sure i can get over this.

is counseling the key or......?

Dear AZguy: First of all I am sorry for your shock and pain, for what you and your wife are facing. I agree with the person who pointed out she planned somewhat in advance to take her own taxi home. But I also want to point out that she opened up and told you the truth, which means she values your right to know in saving your relationship. Only you and she can decide what your relationship needs to be, but it will be stabilized and healed as long as you continue to be dead honest with each other. I mean totally open no holds barred. Even to the point where I would recommend you sit down also with those 3 men and hear the whole story out, even if it takes going through a counselor to work it out. How do you know she wasn't taken advantage of. If all people are on the up and up, they won't have anything to hide. People do stupid things, look at John Edwards and the political couple in Ireland. They all know better but walk right into it. That's one thing. But having a sexual addiction or hangup or having a drinking problem or getting abused is something else. If there is anything like that going on, that should be addressed separately from your wife. Don't take on all this on yourself or on her, but just one step at a time or you will be overwhelmed. Yes, counseling is needed, and maybe more for her if she has other problems. Put your honest relationship with each other first, and also the commitment to take care of your kids as partners no matter what else changes, and the rest will fall into place. My best advice to you, is if there is anything you cannot resolve so you are perfectly healed and at peace then (1) either using prayer therapy to forgive and let go things in your past or hers (2) making peace with any other person who has an influence on you or her, sometimes there are multiple conflicts going on, so again, do not take this all on yourself or you will drive yourself crazy. Take it one step at a time, one issue or idea at a time, and work it out. Make sure both you and she have the same commitment to do whatever it takes to have normal trusting relations again. Things may change, but you will be able to handle it without fear. Try to treat any factor as a fresh opportunity to work out all aspects of your relationship. As long as you stay committed partners, even as friends if nothing more, and you work on these things responsibly, you will still set a good example for your kids about maturity in dealing with life and conflicts. If things change, just work out agreements mutually, as best you can; try not to make any drastic decisions while in anger or desperation, but try to make peace first so that any issues are decided civilly with a clear mind. If your mind is still not clear, then work things out until they are before you decide. I wish you both the best, and feel you both have the honesty to make it through this. If you read how the Irish political couple, the Robinson's, are handling their issues, you can see they are trying to support each other. If your wife is serious about working things out with you, please support her in counseling and making sure she distinguishes her responsibility, and does not take on more or less than her share of it. There are clearly other factors and people involved so that may take some deep soul searching to sort out. If you can set up a constructive way to confront those men, that may empower all of you to get past this and understand the circumstances. Running, avoiding, denying or guessing just makes it harder, I would rather know what people's motives are so I don't take that on myself. That's just me, maybe you need something different. But I would definitely want to know how much was your wife taken advantage of in a drunken state and how much she planned in advance. She can only take care of her part of that, she cannot play the victim of her own problems, nor can she be blamed solely if she was pressured by peers to do something outside her nature. Nobody can have an affair by themselves, there is shared responsibility for the actions and consequences. If those men did not have any criminal intent, then they should be able to face up to you. If they did anything criminal, that should be pursued legally to prevent them from harming anyone else.

Jinx
01-23-2010, 08:19 PM
Perhaps I'm being a little insensitive, but I call bullshit on the whole story. I read a similar story on a literotica site a few years ago.

If I am mistaken, then I sincerely apologize and suggest that the first step would be a STD test. After that, I would suggest confronting her on the matter with a counselor. Find out how long it's been going on, because if this indeed did happen, the set up clearly shows that it wasn't the first time.

Good luck!

Gort
01-25-2010, 01:47 PM
so me and wife have been together for about 15 years. well her sex drive has really taken a dive over past 3 years.
Well she had company x-mas party this month, she told me it was employee only and was just dinner at a resturant with co-workers downtown. well she asked if i minded dropping her off and shed take a taxi home, i didnt think anything of it and gladly did it. she got home about 2am, i had tried to stay awake but i couldnt. i could tell she was pretty drunk and i thought it was kinda funny.
well saturday night we were in bed together and she started crying and told me she had to tell me something. well i guess after the x-mas party her and 3 other co workers wound up at one of their houses and was drinking and having a good time. well one thing led to another and she ended up fucking all 3 of them!!!

ill be honest, i am totally shocked, hurt and humiliated right now, we have kids and i dont want to leave her, but im not sure i can get over this.

is counseling the key or......?

Does she work at applebees?

>>Flyboy<<
01-25-2010, 04:59 PM
Hehehehehe.....

Gotta watch those Red Robin chicks as well.

PopePepe
01-26-2010, 03:02 AM
Does she work at applebees?

Eating good in the neighborhood?

Mr. Big Stuff
01-26-2010, 03:35 PM
Dear AZguy: First of all I am sorry for your shock and pain, for what you and your wife are facing. I agree with the person who pointed out she planned somewhat in advance to take her own taxi home. But I also want to point out that she opened up and told you the truth, which means she values your right to know in saving your relationship. Only you and she can decide what your relationship needs to be, but it will be stabilized and healed as long as you continue to be dead honest with each other. I mean totally open no holds barred. Even to the point where I would recommend you sit down also with those 3 men and hear the whole story out, even if it takes going through a counselor to work it out. How do you know she wasn't taken advantage of. If all people are on the up and up, they won't have anything to hide. People do stupid things, look at John Edwards and the political couple in Ireland. They all know better but walk right into it. That's one thing. But having a sexual addiction or hangup or having a drinking problem or getting abused is something else. If there is anything like that going on, that should be addressed separately from your wife. Don't take on all this on yourself or on her, but just one step at a time or you will be overwhelmed. Yes, counseling is needed, and maybe more for her if she has other problems. Put your honest relationship with each other first, and also the commitment to take care of your kids as partners no matter what else changes, and the rest will fall into place. My best advice to you, is if there is anything you cannot resolve so you are perfectly healed and at peace then (1) either using prayer therapy to forgive and let go things in your past or hers (2) making peace with any other person who has an influence on you or her, sometimes there are multiple conflicts going on, so again, do not take this all on yourself or you will drive yourself crazy. Take it one step at a time, one issue or idea at a time, and work it out. Make sure both you and she have the same commitment to do whatever it takes to have normal trusting relations again. Things may change, but you will be able to handle it without fear. Try to treat any factor as a fresh opportunity to work out all aspects of your relationship. As long as you stay committed partners, even as friends if nothing more, and you work on these things responsibly, you will still set a good example for your kids about maturity in dealing with life and conflicts. If things change, just work out agreements mutually, as best you can; try not to make any drastic decisions while in anger or desperation, but try to make peace first so that any issues are decided civilly with a clear mind. If your mind is still not clear, then work things out until they are before you decide. I wish you both the best, and feel you both have the honesty to make it through this. If you read how the Irish political couple, the Robinson's, are handling their issues, you can see they are trying to support each other. If your wife is serious about working things out with you, please support her in counseling and making sure she distinguishes her responsibility, and does not take on more or less than her share of it. There are clearly other factors and people involved so that may take some deep soul searching to sort out. If you can set up a constructive way to confront those men, that may empower all of you to get past this and understand the circumstances. Running, avoiding, denying or guessing just makes it harder, I would rather know what people's motives are so I don't take that on myself. That's just me, maybe you need something different. But I would definitely want to know how much was your wife taken advantage of in a drunken state and how much she planned in advance. She can only take care of her part of that, she cannot play the victim of her own problems, nor can she be blamed solely if she was pressured by peers to do something outside her nature. Nobody can have an affair by themselves, there is shared responsibility for the actions and consequences. If those men did not have any criminal intent, then they should be able to face up to you. If they did anything criminal, that should be pursued legally to prevent them from harming anyone else.

You need to double-space, or paragraph this out my friend. I got dizzy trying to read it and had to stop.
But I think your advise is way off. She was not taken advantage of, that was more than likely a fantasy of hers. She wanted to act on it and she did. Do you actually think that those guys give a shit to the point of sitting down and casually discussing the details of gang-banging his wife in a group session?

He needs to either join her and start an open and swinging relationship or dump the whore.

emilynghiem
01-26-2010, 05:18 PM
Dear Mr. Big: Sorry and I hope the spinning stops.
1. If this story is true, I think the BEHAVIOR is way off, not my answer.
My reply is an attempt to respond sanely to an insane situation.
2. My point is to separate the wife's decision to plan to get in trouble
FROM the guys who decide to act with her on that.
When you separate the two, you can address the wife's issues separately from the men who have a problem also.
(If she were sorry and hurt, as in the story, then she did not really consent to those consequences, so they were all taking advantage of that ignorance. If people like her don't know, that doesn't mean you take advantage of that!
I had a friend who tried to hire people to shoot him dead, and they REFUSED. So you do not have to go along with that, which is a separate decision.)
3. And my point is if people ARE held responsible for colluding to violate this man's marital contract with his wife, then maybe people would be forced to think BEFORE they act -- THAT is sane, the other is insane.

As other people pointed out, hopefully this story is fabricated, and this poor man has other problems besides this. Even having a problem where you have to create fake drama online is better than actually going through this hell.

But I would try to act as a sane person would, and hold individual people to answer for their own actions. Then the craziness of mob mentality would stop. You cannot act like that if you are thinking of other people as individuals in relation to others.

And even if the wife consented to get in trouble, the men did not have to act on that. They are responsible for themselves, not her for it all. She would have enough to answer for without adding their part of the problem onto hers.

You need to double-space, or paragraph this out my friend. I got dizzy trying to read it and had to stop.
But I think your advise is way off. She was not taken advantage of, that was more than likely a fantasy of hers. She wanted to act on it and she did. Do you actually think that those guys give a shit to the point of sitting down and casually discussing the details of gang-banging his wife in a group session?

He needs to either join her and start an open and swinging relationship or dump the whore.

I agree that if people are going to swing, they should have an open committed agreement so nobody gets hurt and everyone stays safe.

Gort
01-27-2010, 07:58 AM
And even if the wife consented to get in trouble, the men did not have to act on that.

Yeah they did.

Jaywashere
02-02-2010, 12:18 AM
Dear Mr. Big: Sorry and I hope the spinning stops.
1. If this story is true, I think the BEHAVIOR is way off, not my answer.
My reply is an attempt to respond sanely to an insane situation.
2. My point is to separate the wife's decision to plan to get in trouble
FROM the guys who decide to act with her on that.
When you separate the two, you can address the wife's issues separately from the men who have a problem also.
(If she were sorry and hurt, as in the story, then she did not really consent to those consequences, so they were all taking advantage of that ignorance. If people like her don't know, that doesn't mean you take advantage of that!
I had a friend who tried to hire people to shoot him dead, and they REFUSED. So you do not have to go along with that, which is a separate decision.)
3. And my point is if people ARE held responsible for colluding to violate this man's marital contract with his wife, then maybe people would be forced to think BEFORE they act -- THAT is sane, the other is insane.

As other people pointed out, hopefully this story is fabricated, and this poor man has other problems besides this. Even having a problem where you have to create fake drama online is better than actually going through this hell.

But I would try to act as a sane person would, and hold individual people to answer for their own actions. Then the craziness of mob mentality would stop. You cannot act like that if you are thinking of other people as individuals in relation to others.

And even if the wife consented to get in trouble, the men did not have to act on that. They are responsible for themselves, not her for it all. She would have enough to answer for without adding their part of the problem onto hers.



I agree that if people are going to swing, they should have an open committed agreement so nobody gets hurt and everyone stays safe.

pass the bong

tonewood57
02-05-2010, 05:05 AM
My wife fucked around for years, both before and after we married, and often with people whom I knew and regarded as friends. She kept it all secret from me until some years after we officially opened our relationship. And even after the opening she had at least one secret affair. It all spilled out later. I was outraged and grief-stricken, and it took us something between six months and a year to reach any confidence that we'd stick together. But now it's seven years since the crisis (her revelations). We both suffered terribly in the aftermath of her coming clean (which was provoked by a friend's slip of the tongue in a conversation with me). We're still together and are still lovers, and we think we've done the right thing by staying together. Her ego was weak and her conscience was very strangely wired, probably on account of her upbringing (broken parental marriage, two alcoholic parents, probably no reliable supply of love and support at home). People who cheat don't necessarily do it because of a lack of love for the primary partner. Life's complications can rival anything invented in fiction. (Maybe fiction isn't really invented...)

yar1
02-05-2010, 08:01 AM
Sounds to me that a couple things are wrong with this situation. First its really dropped off over the last 3 years no biggie but it will tie in with the story later.

2. She has u drop her off but plans on have a taxi bring her home, nope!!!!

3. Company christmas parties usually involve spouse/boyfriends atleast all the ones i've been to have.

4. Most company parties are dead by midnight.

5. She goes to a house with these 3 guys.

6. What would she do if u used i was drunk but banged 1 other girl,not to mention all 3 of them.

Basically it boils down to you married a dirty, dirty whore, and someone was going to tell you from her job or a mutual freind so she came clean. She shat where she ate.

Screw therapy stay in it for the kids but don't screw her anymore, because she's been screwing u over for alot longer than u think. Save your money and hide it in a family members name because a year from now she will have papers drawn up for divorce, oh and make sure u keep your dick to yourself so u can keep most of your shit


Listen my eyes are starting to bleed fm some of the long winded BS I am reading. Plain and simple, for every action there is a reaction!! yes or no right or wrong!! the rest is BS, no matter how cerebral you try to present your thoughts on this matter, the basic fact is all she had to say was No! She didn't . Next:p

That being said pass the Bong:p Jaywashere my comment does not refer to you just saying that ahead of time :)

emilynghiem
02-05-2010, 09:42 AM
Yeah they did.

My bf avoided sex with a married woman, knowing he was in love with her. But knew it was not right and would cause more problems.
He is no religious freak, just a normal guy. And he said no.

Another friend of mine got an offer he turned down, which surprised even him. He normally would take any woman up on an offer for sex. But he decided he wanted something else, not that.

Happens all the time. People can use their heads and say no to things that are not worth the hassle.

I had to say no to someone I wanted to get in trouble with.
Had to call a friend for prayer help because I couldn't resist this guy's offers.
But I knew to ask for help in order not to go there.

I understand without that help, I may have ended up doing otherwise.
But I knew and chose to ask for that help, knowing it was for the better.

Sweet
02-19-2010, 04:38 PM
Lost control I beat the life out of her she went into cardiac arrest.

That's awful! :mad::mad::mad:

DJ Prophetic
02-19-2010, 07:44 PM
Does she work at applebees?

I will say that if I was going to work at a 6-10 dollar a plate restaurant, I'd make Applebee's my first choice...

That is, however, only because Olive Garden upped their plates to 12-15 bucks. Psh.

PopePepe
02-23-2010, 04:08 AM
I had to say no to someone I wanted to get in trouble with.
Had to call a friend for prayer help because I couldn't resist this guy's offers.
But I knew to ask for help in order not to go there.

You promised not to tell!!