todays joke...

[livelychati]

Raining in New York City

A woman and her ten-year-old son were riding in a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.

"Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.

The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him The truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money."

The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, Mom?"

His mother, glaring hard at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative. After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?"

"Most of them become cab drivers," she said.

[Francoitalianarmy]

An old man and a young man worked in office next to each other. The young man had noticed that the older man always seemed to have a jar of peanuts on his desk. The young man loved peanuts.
One day while the older man was away from his desk the young man couldn't resist and went to the old man's jar and ate over half the peanuts.
When the old man returned the young man felt guilty and confessed to taking the peanuts.
The old man responded "That's ok since I lost my teeth all I can do is lick the chocolate off the M&Ms."

[lingam]

An American businessman was in Japan. He hired a local hooker and was going at it all night with her. She kept screaming "Fujifoo, Fugifoo!!!", which the guy took to be pleasurable.. The next day, he was golfing with his Japanese counterparts and he got a hole-in-one. Wanting to impress the clients, he said "Fujifoo". The Japanese clients looked confused and said "No, you got the right/correct hole."

[TantricRomantic]

Originally Posted by livelychati

raining in new york city

a woman and her ten-year-old son were riding in a cab in new york city. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.

"mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"
"they're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.

The cabbie turns around and says, "geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money."

the little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "is that true, mom?"

his mother, glaring hard at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative. After a few minutes, the kid asks, "mom, what happens to the babies those women have?"

"most of them become cab drivers," she said.

roflmao

[lingam]

Jim decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at maturity of a 12 year old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her soooo much.

However, Jim felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that he also had a deformity too. Jim looked Sandy in the eyes and said.... "I too have a problem. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married."

She said, "Yes I will marry you and learn to live with your infant size penis."

Sandy and Jim got married and they could not wait for the Honeymoon. Jim whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing, holding one another...

As Sandy put her hands in Jim's pants she began to scream and ran out of the room!

Jim ran after her to find out what was wrong. "You told me you penis was the size of an infant!", she said.

"Yes it is..... 8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long!!"

[livelychati]

I guess it's true: there's no coming back ....

[FlaGordon]

It all depends on how you look at some things...

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California , was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that Congressman Harry Reid's great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. Both Judy and Harry Reid share this common ancestor.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows in Montana territory:

On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription: 'Remus Reid, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.'

So Judy recently e-mailed Congressman Harry Reid for information about their great-great uncle.


Harry Reid:


Believe it or not, Harry Reid's staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:

"Remus Reid was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory . His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."


NOW THAT's how it's done, Folks!

That's real POLITICAL SPIN (sorry no photos)

[livelychati]

... it is so true and funny at the same time!!!

Men's Brains/Women's Brains

[ArmySoldier]

Originally Posted by livelychati

... it is so true and funny at the same time!!!

Men's Brains/Women's Brains

The least funny thing I've seen all week.